Emilee. Massachusetts-born New Hampshire dweller. 17. Gay as fuck.

waywardvagabondslilcousin:

a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan

years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal

he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”

(Source: bladetheroosterteethfanguy)

captain-georgeuniverse:

xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

That. Is. Amazing.

sillyboys-trucksareforgirls:

ap0calypses:

pls

on my way baby

bevrage:

condom:

omg my cousin from New York knows that guy that sings the “rude” song and they’re friends on Facebook and he had a thing for her but she wasn’t into it LMAO

didn’t she know he was human too?

veganasana:

can we stop glorifying social anxiety and that “awkward girl”?

Because it’s not cute or adorable when I can’t even text my friends for the absolute terror that they hate me

and I can’t go to the grocery store on weekends or afternoons because there’s too many people and I can’t function

or that I always panic when talking to anyone new ever at all.

It’s not cute. It’s downright terrifying and I’d greatly appreciate it ya’ll fucking stopped.

spitfirerantdragon:

red-orca:

pleasegodletmelive:

owynsama:

apharthurkirklands:

apharthurkirklands:

au where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate

ADDITIONALLY: when your soulmate dies, the world goes back to black and white

THAT’S HORRIBLE i love it

No but can you imagine having a normal day at work or running errands but then everything suddenly goes black and white.

LEAVE MY LIFE

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(Source: denmarkswag)

gymleaderkyle:

if youre in a heterosexual relationship like who gets to be the woman and who gets to be the other woman?

slothalgae:

FAK

(Source: deijee)

anartisticanomaly:

phantomcat94:

meefling:

You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me

I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me

I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.

Turn ons:

dontberough:

  • Seeing someone bite their lower lip
  • Having someone bite my lower lip
  • Being pinned against a wall
  • Back scratches 
  • Hickeys
  • Neck kissing
  • Neck biting
  • Putting my hand where you want to be touched
  • Heavy breathing
  • Moaning
  • Seeing your reaction
  • Secretly teasing one another in puplic
  • Booty
  • Boobs